FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3rd, 2021 - “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

SATURDAY, DECEMEBER 4th, 2021 - Channukah Lighting in the Park at Kew Gardens – 6:30 pm

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 5th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 9:50 for Advent carols – this is a Jazz Service, come and be a part of it.

Just a quick note about this service, rather than a regular sermon from Katherine, there will be an opportunity to interactively reflect on and discuss some of the themes from the scriptures. I believe Don or one of our remote participants will facilitate zoom breakout rooms for those of you joining on line.

MISSION CAPSULE: Antony Misoya, a 15 year old orphan from Malawi, is HIV positive. He attends a program managed by the Mulanje Mission Hospital where he receives care and support with his antiretroviral medication regimen. Staff began to notice Antony’s visits to the program had become less frequent. When asked, Antony told them, “I go around looking for work to support my two brothers and sister; sometimes I miss my treatment because I am working.” Program staff visited Antony and his guardian and discovered that it had become difficult for her to provide for all four children, so the team provided them with support that made it possible for Antony to attend the clinic regularly and focus on his studies. This project that provides care and support to orphans and vulnerable children in Malawi is supported by PWS&D.

DATES TO KEEP IN MIND.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18th, 2021 - Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol – a reading. 3:30 -

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 21st, 2021 - Longest Night Service – 7:00

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24th, 2021 - Christmas Eve Service

NOTE: This will be the last Tid Bits for a while. Don’t email me as I will be offline. Merry Christmas everyone.

FROM THE CHILDREN:

What does your mom do in her spare time?

Mothers don’t do spare time.
To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Have a good week. MB

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26th, 2021 - “I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.” Winston Churchill

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28th, 2021 - FIRST SUNDAY OF ADVENT – join us at 9:50 for Advent carol singing….in person or via Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Khadija is five years old and attends a community based school in Laghman, Afghanistan. Khadija’s older sister did not have the opportunity to attend school, so the Grade One student has wholeheartedly embraced her studies. “I love going to school every day and meeting my friends there. My favourite subject is mathematics.” Through the support of Community World Service Asia, a partner of PWS&D, Khadija and her friends also received school supplies. “One day after completing my studies, I will become a traffic police officer and guide people in the right direction,” said Khadija, smiling.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will meet at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 31st, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will meet in the prayer room at 9;30.

FRIDAY, SATURDAY & SUNDAY, DECEMBER 3rd, 4th & 5th, 2021 - Toronto East End Christmas Market featuring 50 local small businesses. Christmas shopping done from the comfort of your home. @torontovirtualmarket this event will also support Community 55.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 5th, 2021 - JAZZ SERVICE AT BEACHES WITH JULIAN ANDERSON-BOWES AND HIS GROUP. IT’S BEEN AWHILE….

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12th, 2021 - Toronto Beach Chorale present Magnificat at Kingston Road United Church – 7:30 – Tickets $30.00 adults, $15.00 Youth - Proof of vaccination required.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18th, 2021 - Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol, a reading.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 21st, 2021 - Longest Night Service.

AND FROM THE CHILDREN:

Who is the boss at your house?

Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because Dad is such a goof ball.
Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What is the different between moms and dads?

Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
Dads are taller and stronger but moms have all the real power cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

Have a good week. MB

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19th, 2021 - “If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.” George Bernard Shaw

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20th, 2021 - 8:00 pm - Tom Allen & Lori Gemmell present The Music of Murray Schafer at Beaches Presbyterian Church.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 21st, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person or on Zoom – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Ten year old Joseph lives with his family in northern Malawi. One day, Joseph showed up to school, not quite himself. His friends noticed and asked what was wrong. “My father and mother shout at each other and fight almost every week. Sometimes my father calls us bad names and chases us out of the house at night, for no reason,” he said. His friends, who had learned about children’s rights and what support was available to them, urged him to speak to a Child Protection Worker. The Child Protection Worker understood the economic challenges that were exacerbating the abuse and connected the family with resources to address them. Together, the family is using what they have learned to build a more peaceful home. This project is supported by PWS&D.

AND FROM GARY LYON: You can watch last Sunday’s service on U-Tube - https://youtu.be/7iIS9y0YEcg

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd, 2021 - Theology on Tap at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 in the prayer room.

COMING UP:

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28th, 2021 - First Sunday of Advent.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 5th, 2021` - Beaches Jazz Service

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18th, 2021 - Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol – a reading.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 21st, 2021 - Longest Night Service

MORE FROM THE SECOND GRADE SCHOOL CHILDREN:

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
They say she used to be nice.

What did your mom need to know about dad before she married him?

His last name.
She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
Does he make at least $800.00 a year? Did he say no to drugs and yes to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world and my mom eats a lot.
She got too old to do anything else with him.
My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 12th, 2021 - “If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” Paul McCartney

Virtual Bazaar - Fallingbrook Presbyterian Church. Ordering begins November 15th – November 25th and pick up November 26th & 27th. www.fallingbrookpresbyterian.com to view catalogue and instructions on how to order. Items include: Children’s PJ’s, adult socks; knitted cowls and scarves; children’s mitts; placemats; Christmas pillows and much more.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion.
Have at the ready wine/juice and a cracker or bread.

MISSION CAPSULE: In November 2021, the United Mission to Nepal (UMN) will welcome Dhana Lama as its first ever Nepali Executive Director. In addition to being UMN’s first Nepali Executive Director, Dhana will be the 13th Executive Director since its founding in 1954 and the third woman to lead UMN. Outgoing Executive Director, Joel Hafvenstein said, “Dhana is a strong and forthright leader who is also a listener, with the humility not to fear change or the acknowledgement of mistakes. Her passion for service to Nepal’s poorest people is unquestionable.” As an international, interdenominational Christian mission, UMN received funding from partners designated for specific projects, which doesn’t leave much for staff salaries. Through Presbyterians Sharing ...the PCC will join the Church of Scotland, the Presbyterian Church in Ireland and Asia CMS in financially supporting Dhana Lama during her tenure.

NOVEMBER BIRTHDAYS – Pat Fraser – I missed her name last week.

COMING UP:

ADVENT – SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28th, 2021

Beaches Boarding Homes Christmas – donations will be most welcome. More later.

The Girl Guides who meet at Beaches are going to build a shelter for the front lawn to house food products. It will be open to the public and will be kept filled by the Girl Guides, Avalon Montessori School, Kasia preschool and Beaches Church.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18th, 2021 - Charles Dickens – A Christmas Carol.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 21st, 2021 - Longest Night Service.

BEACHES ELDER ELECTION: In order to vote you must be a member of Beaches Church. If you are not and would like to vote, call your elder or Katherine.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 15th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will meet in the prayer room at 9:30

Second Grade children - in answer to the following questions. (you may have seen some of these before, but they are worth another read.)

Why did God make mothers?

She is the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
Mostly to clean the house.
To help us out of there when we were getting born.

What are mother’s made of?

God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

How did God make mothers?

He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

We’re related.
God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4th, 2021 - “I have as much authority as the Pope - I just don`t have as many people who believe it.`` George Carlin

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5th, 2021 - Beach Guild of Fine Arts on-line show runs from November 5th through November 28th, 2021. Original paintings, drawings, handmade prints and sculptures. www.beachguildoffineart.com

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6th, 2021 - Jazz and Reflections – The Life and Songs of Irving Berlin – 4:30 - Beach United Church is happy to welcome back Dr. Mike Daley, guitar and vocals, and Jill Daley, violin and piano. There are two options for attending this performance – please check out www.beachunitedchurch.com

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6th, 2021 - AT MIDNIGHT - TURN YOUR CLOCKS BACK.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 7th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – COME IN PERSON – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Haiti is experiencing a food shortage crisis. As a result, many children, like Elisemene Joachim, suffer from malnutrition. At four years old, Elisemene weighed a mere 8.5 kg (around 19 pounds) when she was diagnosed with acute malnutrition at a mobile clinic. She was immediately enrolled in a program where she received life-saving treatment and was regularly monitored for several months. After ten months, Elisemene`s health and nutrition status improved and she was healthy enough to be discharged from the program. Today, Elisemene is thriving and enjoying a healthy childhood­ - This project is supported by PWS&D and Canadian Foodgrains Bank.

COMING SOON: With the loss of John Struthers, Elisabeth Grant and Mary Rae Shantz`s move to B.C. - - we will be electing new elders soon. To be an elder or to vote, you must be a member of Beaches Church. Members will be given a list of possible elders and can check off as many names as they like. The lists will be sent to Session and Session has the discretion to approach potential elders based on the results.

NOVEMBER BIRTHDAYS - Jim Olthuis and Matt Hiraishi

COMING UP – DECEMBER 5th, 2021 - JAZZ SERVICE

MORE STUFF: including `Day

1962 film starring Lee Remick and Jack Lemmon ______________________

Landmark Beatles song, finale of `Sgt.Pepper`album ____________________

Novel by Nathanael West, and film starring Donald Sutherland, about Hollywood in the `30`s. _______________________

Term for the 1916 uprising in Ireland ___________________________

Christian Term for the end of time _____________________________

The day when one receives wages. __________________________

Classic Science Fiction film starring Michael Rennie ________________________

Enjoy - MB

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29th , 2021 - “The third rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.” A.A. Milne

What can you hold without touching??

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31st, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 - Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading - time to leave the couch, bring your own coffee and turn up in person. See you there ...

MISSION CAPSULES: Mohammad and his family had to leave their home behind when COVID 19 made finding work difficult in their community in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, Mohammad and his father were seriously injured by a bomb blast on the journey. Mohammad’s right knee now causes him a lot of pain. Mohammad still worked hard to provide for his family through the harsh winter, but it was far from enough. Things improved when the family was selected to take part in a food assistance project. Five monthly cash distributions were made to 1,100 vulnerable households – allowing families to purchase much needed food and essential items. “This assistance has brought relief in my life,” said Mohammad. This project is implemented by Community World Service Asia, a partner of PWS&D.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31st, 2021 - HALLOWEEN - All Hallows Eve began as an ancient Celtic tradition and over the years became Halloween.

When Scottish and Irish people came to North America they brought many traditions with them, one of them being All Hallows Eve. They would carve out turnips and light them along pathways. When they came to North America they discovered pumpkins, which were easier to carve and to carry. Enjoy …

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1st, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00 via Zoom.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3rd, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 – in the prayer room.

Mark your calendars - Sunday, November 7th, 2021 - change clocks. November 28th, 2021 – First day of Advent. Sunday, December 5th, 2021 - Julian and his group will lead a Jazz Service.

STUFF; “Daydreaming”

Movie with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck - ____________________________________

Famous last line of Gone With the Wind _____________________________________________

Proverb meaning “Things take time” _______________________________________________

First day of Lent ___________________________

TV show featuring “The Fonz _________________________________

What is so rare as ___________________________________________

Irish Tenor, Jack Benny’s sidekick ____________________________

1969 film starring Genevieve Bujold, about the second wife of Henry VIII __________________________

June 6th, 1944 ___________________________

Have a good week MB

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22nd, 2021 - “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will live as one.” John Lennon

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 24th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person or on zoom – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. With everything opening up again, you will be most welcome in the sanctuary.

MISSION CAPSULE: In the highlands of Guatemala, 43 year old Adelina Lopez Vasquez lives with her husband Rafael and their family. Adelina is a health and nutrition promoter in her community. Through training workshops, Adelina gained knowledge and skills about how to prepare wholesome and nutritious foods. She learned the importance of maintaining a clean workspace and the benefits of cooking foods made with fresh, local ingredients instead of buying prepared foods. In addition, the training Adelina received on the topics of home hygiene and nutritious diets have helped both her and her community navigate the COVID-19 pandemic. Today, she shares all she has learned with her community so they can also lead healthy lives. PWS&D works in partnership with local Mayan organization, AMMID.

BEACHES LIFE: Over the next few weeks/months we will be holding an elder election. This involves members nominating other members to stand as elders. The members who have been voted for will then be approached about letting their name stand and after lots of discussion and thoughtful prayer, we can then move forward. Being an elder is an important step in the life of our church community.

As we move forward, in the future we are going to need someone to volunteer to take over the Hospitality group. The main responsibility is organizing coffee time after worship. In the past we have had four groups who look after this for a month at a time.

November will be here before we know it which brings forth the celebration of Advent, the Advent wreath, the nativity and Christmas. A wonderful time for us to gather together as a church family.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 25th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

OCTOBER 27th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

“Freedom‘s just another word for nothin’ left to lose, nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’ but it’s free. Kris Kristofferson

More Punnery ….

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

How did I escape Iraq? Iran

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero … thanks for nothing..

Son: “Dad can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad, “no sun” …

My math teacher called me average…. How mean!

Clinic Receptionist: “Doctor, there’s a patient on line that says he’s become invisible” Doctor: “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now”….

Have a good week MB

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 14th, 2021 - “It seems to me that those songs that have been any good, I have nothing much to do with the writing of them. The words have just crawled down my sleeve and come out on the page.” Joan Baez

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16th, 2021 - St. Nicholas Anglican Church, Kingston Road, east of Warden, 10;00 – 1;00 - Market – homemade meat pies; baked goods; jams; jellies; plus “garage sale items” sandwiches and drinks…

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16th, 2021 - Tom Allen & Lori Gemmell present a concert at Beaches Presbyterian Church – 8:00 – tickets $30.00 in advance. Proof of vaccination needed.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 in person or by Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: For Palestinians, the olive tree is a symbol of their nationality and connection to the land. Cultivated for thousands of years, it is a major source of income for many households. Between 1967 and 2009, over 830,000 olive trees were uprooted by Israelie settlers and military to build settlements and roads. In 2002, the Joint Advocacy Initiative launched the Olive Tree Campaign (OTC) inviting partners to sponsor olive trees as a sign of solidarity with Palestinian farmers. The OTC has supported 15000 households, with 200,000 Olive trees, allowing them to maintain their lands, earn an income and keep their hope alive. The PCC has been supporting this life-giving project since 2018, in celebration of the campaign’s 20th anniversary, organizers hope to plant 40,000 olive trees in 2022 and they still need sponsors for 15,000 trees to reach the goal.

BEACHES HISTORY: The painting at the front of the sanctuary is a “prayer painting” and was executed during Lent several years ago. Each small section is one person’s impression of a particular prayer. At the time, elder Tim Murray set it up and everyone in the congregation took a turn painting a prayer. It’s an important piece of our history and our sanctuary.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 18th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21st, 2021 - Beaches Session will meet at 7:30

PUNNERY!!

My best mates and I played a game of hide and seek. It went on for hours…Well, good friends are hard to find!

You’re not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example…

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m OK.

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word….

Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

And the Lord said unto John, “come forth and you will receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and he got hell.

Hope you all have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8th, 2021 - “No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent” Eleanor Roosevelt

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 9th, 2021 - Historic Walking Tour – local historian Gene Domagala will look at the Kew Gardens area. Join him at the Beaches Library at 1:00

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 10th, 2021 - Thanksgiving Sunday – join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. If you are joining in person, you must be masked.

MISSION CAPSULE: In 2019, with support from Presbysterians Sharing ... the Presbyterian Church in Canada started Cyclical PCC, a church planting support initiative. Since its beginning, God has blessed this initiative with 47 faithful, dedicated and innovative people who feel called to begin new ministries. Rani Ibrahim, a participant in Cyclical PCC, said that the relationships he has formed with other Presbyterian leaders have been especially meaningful.

OCTOBER BIRTHDAYS - Pat Fraser, Nora Hiraishi, Katherine McCloskey

MONDAY, OCTOBER 11th, 2021 – Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 13th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

NOTE: As a matter of interest, the Montessori school has now completely moved in and are busy conducting classes - and we go on!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16th, 2021 - A group of volunteers will gather in the church at 12:30 to clean the sanctuary area in preparation for the concert being presented by Tom Allen and Lori Gemmell ... if you are willing to help, contact Tim Murray at thmurray@rogers.com or 647-232-5759 – or just show up.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16th, 2021 - 8:00 pm - An evening of story and music inspired by Edgar Allan Poe who always befriended the night. Presented by Tom Allen and Lori Gemmell. Tickets $30:00 available in advance at tomallenmicroconcerts@gmail.com - proof of vaccination required.

MORE STUFF:

These are titles or lines from songs, novels, movies or plays – fill in the missing names...

____________________ o’ my heart.

When you and I were young _________________

Sweet _______________ Malone

___________________ I dream of lilac time

My Little __________________

Little ________________Rooney

__________________ and the King of Siam

Goodnight ________________________

Have a good week - MB If you are tired of these puzzles, send me stuff ...

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30th, 2021 - “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” Dolly Parton

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2nd, 2021 - Jazz & Reflection, Beach United Church – 4:30 – 2021-22 season opens with a must-see livestream performance by Paul Dovotny, Joe Sealy, and Jackie Richardson. Info: www.beachunitedchurch.com

There was an episode of Tapestry on CBC radio recently. It featured Andrew Faiz talking about his grandfather who is considered a saint in the Presbyterian community in Pakistan. The link is – http://www.broadview.org/vazir-chand-presbyterian-pakistan

Today is Orange Shirt day…..this is to remember a little girl who wore a brand new orange shirt – in a residential school – and the teacher took it off her and burned it….

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 3rd, 2021 - World Communion Sunday – Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion – if you are worshipping from home have wine or juice and bread/cracker ready.

An unusual paragraph! I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

MISSION CAPSULE: Although the work of God is sometimes accompanied by displays of power or dramatic revelations, it is often the gentle whisper of the Spirit that stirs someone deeply. The Holy Spirit has been stirring in Place of Hope Indigenous Presbyterian Church in Winnipeg, Manitoba. This is due in part to the work of an elder at Place of Hope, who simply lives out what she believes. In a quiet, loving way, this elder has been teaching the church’s young people that God cares about the details of their lives and loves them unconditionally. And in following her example, many older youths have been baptized in recent months. The elder’s faith is a compelling testimony and an example for all, as she quietly draws those around her to Christ. Place of Hope Indigenous Presbyterian Church receives support from gifts to Presbyterians Sharing…

MONDAY, OCTOBER 4th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00 via zoom.

The unusual paragraph: The letter “e”, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph!!

Wednesday, OCTOBER 6th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

MORE STUFF:

Pygmalion and _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pomp and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Archy and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nip and _ _ _ _

Ebb and _ _ _ _

Lewis and _ _ _ _ _

Chapter and _ _ _ _ _

Scotch and _ _ _ _

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23rd, 2021 - “Forty is the old age of youth, 50 is the youth of old Age.” Victor Hugo

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25th, 2021 - “picnic” to meet and greet Hasan and his family at Kew Beach Park. We will gather in the gazebo at 10:30 – due to the possibility of rain – due to the ever present Covid we cannot share food, so bring your own lunch. Drinks will be provided,
If you can, bring a chair.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25th, 2021 - Kingston Road Village Concert Series presents a free concert at Kingston Road United Church at 4:30 – 5:30. Featuring violinist Mark Fewer, mezzo soprano, Julia Dawson.

SEPTEMBER 26th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship, in person, via Zoom or by telephone, at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.
If you plan to attend in person, masks must be worn, social distancing observed and when the service is complete we will leave the sanctuary and meet together outside.

MISSION CAPSULE: When we give to Presbyterians Sharing ... we participate in God’s mission together, expressing our faith through our actions and decisions. Together, we build strong congregations, serve vulnerable people, walk with Indigenous people, seek justice and share Christ’s love around the world. We are there when a prisoner in Malawi discovers Christ’s love through Bible study, and when a congregation adapts to meet community needs in new ways. We are there when a child receives a healthy snack and after school support for an inner-city ministry, and when theological students in Canada, Malawi, Nigeria, Ghana and Beirut graduate, ready to shine Christ’s light. On Presbyterians Sharing Sunday we celebrate the mission and ministry we share together, as we proclaim God’s love, hope, faith and grace in the world God loves. When we put our gifts in God’s hands, God does remarkable things.

NOTE: Last week, six of us gathered to bury Elisabeth Grants ashes in her family plot near Hamilton.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather, via Zoom, at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

STUFF:

Venus and _ _ _ _ _ _

Fish and _ _ _ _ _

Hue and _ _ _

Hansel and _ _ _ _ _ _

Bergen and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

John Alden and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hill and _ _ _ _

Have a good week – be safe MB

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15th, 2021 - “The only thing better than singing is more singing”. Ella Fitzgerald

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 - in person, on the telephone or from your favourite chair on Zoom.
Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. If you choose to join us in person, masks are mandatory and of course, social distancing. As soon as the service is over we will leave the sanctuary and gather out of doors for a visit.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Haiti, global climate change has left many farmers struggling to support their families. For people in Haiti who make their living from the earth, recent unpredictable weather has had devastating consequences. PWS&D is responding through an agroforestry program that helps farmers by providing seeds for black bean, pigeon pea and corn crops – seeds that are more resilient. Farmers learn sustainable field management and band together in savings groups to make their earnings go even further. Elimene Joseph, an entrepreneur and mother of four, shared her experience: “before becoming a member, I struggled to make ends meet. The program is showing me how to pool my resources together with other farmers. In truth, I do not have enough words to express everything the organization has done for me.”

TIP OF THE DAY: Blow on the wine in your coffee mug to convince the rest of the Zoom meeting that it is coffee!!

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather via Zoom at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22nd, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

“If you play a tune and a person don’t tap their feet, don’t play the tune.” Count Basie

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25th, 2021 - Beaches Picnic to meet Hasan and his family. The place has changed, it is now going to be held in Kew Beach park. More details coming.

MORE –

Bow and _ _ _ _ _

Tweedledum and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Amos and _ _ _ _

Flora and _ _ _ _ _

Popeye and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Rogers and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Simon and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Tom and _ _ _ _ _

Gilbert and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Have a good week – don’t forget to vote MB

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8th, 2021 - “There are really only three types of people; those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who say “what happened?” Ann Landers

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – by phone, in person or by zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.
We will celebrate communion – have at the ready, some juice/wine and bread.

True or False – One of September’s birth flowers is the morning glory.

SEPTEMBER BIRTHDAYS - Sheila MacDonald; Jackie Ogier; Emma Kraay

Back in July, the city of Burnsville, Minnesota found monster goldfish during a survey of Keller Lake. Apparently, these common household pets can grow far bigger in the wild and cause major disruption to ecosystems. They also contribute to poor water quality by disturbing sediment and uprooting plants. Burnsville has therefore urged residents to stop releasing their unwanted pet fish into the wild.

In Minnesota, goldfish are a regulated invasive species, which means it is illegal to release them into public waters.

A goldfish kept in a home aquarium typically grows to about 2 inches in length. But once they are established in public waters, wildlife officials say, goldfish can grow up to 18 inches long. They then become difficult to remove, reproduce rapidly and dominate native species.

In October of 2020, some 50,000 goldfish were found in a creek in nearby Carver County.

But the U.S. isn't the only country to suffer from marauding goldfish. In 2017, Munich city council in Germany said shoals of goldfish were starving out all rivals in local ponds and lakes. The problem got so bad that the council threatened to fine anyone caught releasing their pets into public waters.

Now, I'm not sure what to do with goldfish you no longer want to keep around but, after reading about this in Yahoo News it's very clear what not to do with them.

MISSION CAPSULE: Robina lives with her mother, father and five siblings in a make-shift house in Afghanistan. Both of her parents are unemployed, and Robina is the only member of her family attending school. In Afghanistan 62% of children do not attend school. Often, families with many children cannot afford uniforms and school supplies for each child. Girls are especially disadvantaged because of a shared cultural belief that if girls study, they bring shame on their families. Only one in five students in Afghan schools are female, and only about one in ten adult women are literate. PWS&D is passionate about ensuring a world in which all children can access quality education. Working with local partners, PWS&D helps parents and religious leaders understand girls’ rights – most importantly, the right to education.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 13th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25th, 2021 - Picnic to meet with Hasan and his family - 1:00 pm – at a park near Lasalles Blvd. Pot luck, please bring chairs. More details to follow.

NOTE: Elisabeth Grant’s sudden death has created several areas in the church that need to be filled….as an example - there is a need for someone to supervise the Sunday hospitality groups when we can gather again in person. We need someone to clean the main floor bathrooms. Someone to change the falls in the sanctuary when the seasons change. Someone to prepare communion. Many, many jobs – if you feel so moved, please speak to your elder or send me an email.

AND MORE –

Ozzie and _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Curds and _ _ _ _

Burns and _ _ _ _ _

Laurel and _ _ _ _ _

Alpha and _ _ _ _ _

John Smith and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Lancelot and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Have a good week – stay safe. MB

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 3rd, 2021 - “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.!” Ronald Reagan

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 5th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person or by Zoom – Rev. M.J. Perry leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Joshua Su, a lay missionary at the Taiwanese Robert Campbell Presbyterian Church in Montreal, Quebec, saw a need on Montreal’s south shore for Christian community and worship among Mandarin speaking people. With the support of the congregation and Cyclical PCC, Joshua was able to start a network of small groups that meet in homes for fellowship, discussion and prayer. One of the goals of the new and growing worshipping community is to equip leaders to work alongside Joshua as they start new intergenerational discipleship groups. Following in the Apostle Paul’s footsteps, leaders within this ministry are hearing God’s call to share the gospel in the world.

What is the most common word in the English language?

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 13th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather again at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25th, 2021 - We are planning a picnic with Hasan and his family at a park near where they live. Watch for more details to come. This will be a great opportunity for us to get together and share.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT - “FAMOUS PAIRS”

Adam and _ _ _

Romeo and _ _ _ _ _ _

Mutt and _ _ _ _

Punch and _ _ _ _

Jack and _ _ _ _

Assault and _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Cain and _ _ _ _

The most common word in the English language is “the”.

I learned this week about a couple who have been double vaccinated and caught Covid. They felt so secure they failed to continue wearing masks and hand washing.

Have a good week – be safe. MB

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 25th, 2021 - “In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.” Leo Tolstoy

SUNDAY, AUGUST 29th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 - in person, or via Zoom. Cole Kim will be leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Guatemala, Celedonia Felix was in charge of her family’s farm, performing most of the agricultural and livestock work. But Celedonia was feeling overwhelmed, and the family’s farm was starting to suffer. One day she attended an agriculture training workshop provided by PWS&D’s local partner. At the workshop, the mother of seven learned the importance of working as a team. Sharing what she learned with her husband, the two started to work together on their land. Eventually, the couple’s children also started to help out. Today, the family jointly carries out activities such as planting, separating husks and harvesting. For Celedonia, “teamwork is the key to success and preserving family harmony and happiness.”

SOME GOOD NEWS: Polish Javelinist Maria Andrejczyk auctioned her Tokyo Olympic silver medal for $125,000 USD to help send a baby to Stanford University for heart surgery. Zabka, a chain of Polish Supermarkets, submitted the winning bid – and then gave the medal back to Maria.

THEOLOGY ON TAP WILL NOT BE MEETING AGAIN UNTIL SEPTEMBER 13.

Wednesday, September 1st, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will meet at 9:30

NOTE:
Beaches Church is looking for a part time Church Administrator. This is a salaried position for 12 hours a week. The Church Administrator works with the Minister and Treasurer to ensure the smooth running of the Church, including tasks which require confidentiality. The position involves liaising with tenants and renters, generally managing the operation and maintenance of the church building as directed by the requisite church committee, and preparing materials for Worship Services.
Current working days are Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. During the pandemic much of the work was done remotely. As the situation normalizes, the position will revert to being on-site given the necessity for personal interaction with tenants, trades and renters.
A copy of the job document is attached. If anyone is interested in finding out more, please contact either Katherine at office@beacheschurch.com or Michael at brettcrisp@rogers.com. Also, please feel free to forward this notice to anyone that you think might be interested.
Beaches Church Admin Job Description

ODD STUFF:

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row!

The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

That’s it, that’s all I’ve got.

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, AUGUST 20th, 2021 - “I am always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I am listening to it.” George Carlin

SUNDAY, AUGUST 22nd, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person or on zoom – Heather Crisp leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: The United Mission to Nepal (UMN) was founded in 1954 as an international, interdenominational Christian mission. As COVID-19 swept through the country, affecting the lives and livelihoods of much of the population, UMN’s two mission hospitals in Tansen and Okhaldhunga experienced a funding crisis. Patients seeking care did not have the income to pay their hospital bills. UMN began a “Save Our Hospitals” campaign and reached out to partners and friends for support. Faithful supporters of UMN from around the world rallied to answer the call, including the Presbyterian Church in Canada – a UMN partner since 1974. The campaign was a huge success, receiving over one million dollars in donations.

COMMENT: We all have stories – Since I moved two years ago I have met some truly interesting people with amazing stories. I talked just this week with one couple who for a time lived in the southern states – during the 60”s and 70’s – during the time of the racial unrest. They told me they drove many people to register to vote and at one point met Dr. Martin Luther King. Also they were in Washington for his “I have a dream” speech. Makes you think ….

MONDAY, AUGUST 23rd, 2021 - Theology on Tap will NOT be gathering again until September.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 25th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 …

More from the children ….

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don’t have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”

When they read to us they don’t skip and they don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have a television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have a snack time before bedtime and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

Grampa is the smartest man on earth. He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

Have a good week - be safe. MB

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 11th, 2021 - “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” Doug Larson

SUNDAY, AUGUST 15th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 either in person or by zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Presbyterians Sharing … supports the Rev. Dr. Paul McLean as he works with Bible translation teams to translate the Bible into indigenous languages in Taiwan. The work with Tayal began in the 1950’s when PCC mission staff Clare and Grace McGill converted the spoken language into writing for the first time. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Paul met online three mornings a week with lead translator Watan Yawi to check spelling and verify consistent translation of biblical terms (e.g. temple, prophet, Lord) and over 2000 parallel passages in the Old and New Testaments. They finished at the end of March. Proofreaders had three months before the translation was sent to the Bible Society in Taiwan for typesetting and printing. 110 Tayal churches in the Presbyterian Church in Taiwan are eager to read the whole Bible in their own Language. Thanks be to God!

SAD NEWS: For those of you who have not heard – Elisabeth Grant died suddenly last Friday morning. Over the past year she has experienced some heart problems, and her passing has created a huge space at Beaches - she will be greatly missed. Funeral arrangements will be announced soon.

BEACH GUILD OF FINE ART Summer on Line Show and Sale continues until August 31st. 27 artists, original art, notecards, gift items. Please visit at www.beachartguildshowandsale.ca

NOTE: Theology on Tap will not be meeting again until September.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 18th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 - in person….

NOTE: We need readers – if anyone would be willing to read scripture during worship, in person or on Zoom, please contact Don Anderson or M.J.

AND NOW, WISDOM FROM THE CHILDREN. WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT? (taken from papers written by a class of 8 year olds)

Grandparents are a lady and man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.

A grandfather is a man, and a grandmother is a lady!

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them ….

They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

The show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on the ‘cracks.”

They don’t say, “hurry up”.

Have a good week MB

THURSDAY, AUGUST 5th, 2021 - “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein

SUNDAY, AUGUST 8th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 - Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion. We are gathering in person, carefully, and continue our worship on zoom. Prepare with wine or juice and some bread.

MISSION CAPSULE: With support from Presbyterians Sharing … Rockland Community Church in Ontario – established initially with a focus on youth ministry – is transforming through family style worship and mission that truly brings out the gifts of people of all ages. As their name suggests "community" is at the heart of this Christian family of faith where everyone belongs. The congregation celebrates the contributions made by each member and everyone is committed to sharing their gifts with others, whether it’s by inviting a neighbour to a home group gathering or weekly coffee house, or by organizing a Living Nativity for the wider community during Advent. Presbyterians Sharing … welcomes people into the family of God.

AUGUST BIRTHDAYS: Gordon Brett, Bruce Dinsmore, Bill vanZanden, Lori Gemmell

COMMENT: July was interesting for me – I spent the time at Westpark Hospital – which is a rehab hospital – for my COPD. This is the second time I have been there. This time, because of Covid, we were not allowed to leave the hospital once admitted. We spent our time exercising our lungs, mostly, and basically getting in shape. It was more interesting for me as this time as we had four people who were there because they had had Covid. Two young women, one woman in her 70”s who had been in hospital since January, came to Westpark in April and finally went home second week of July. She caught Covid from a person in a store. One of the younger woman had been in a coma for several weeks and the other one Covid attacked her heart. It was an eye opener and I am so grateful to have been vaccinated.

NOTE: As you know our elder John Struthers died in July from cancer. John was many things, one of them was his work as a carpenter. He built the frames for the two windows that hang in the Glen Manor windows in the sanctuary. He built all the framing that holds the windows in place. Susan Kopulos, Peter McKinnon and I have built similar windows, out of the original window glass, to hang in the south windows. John was planning to build the frames and to that end he purchased the wood needed. It has been moved from John’s house to our prayer room. So, we need someone to build the frames and help get these windows in place. We have had one person come to look at the situation but has turned us down. Any suggestions?

AND NOW, BACK TO THE WASHINGTON POST

Gargoyle - gross olive flavoured mouthwash

Flatulance - emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline

Pokemon - Rastafarian proctologist

Frisbeetarianism - the belief that when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Have a good week MB

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23rd, 2021 - “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” Oscar Wilde

SUNDAY, JUNE 27th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Growing up in a village in northern Malawi where the nearest health facility is 30 km away, Dorica Nkhata knows about the importance of accessible healthcare. Working at Embangweni Mission Hospital as a nurse and noticing a critical shortage of doctors, she decided to pursue her dream of becoming a doctor at the Malawi College of Medicine. She approached the Church of Central Africa Presbyterian, Livingstonia Synod, for assistance. At our partner’s request the PCC accepted Dorica in the Leadership Development Program. With financial support from Knox Presbyterian Church in St. Catharines, Ontario and Presbyterians Sharing … Dorica is on her way to fulfilling her dream and serving those in need in rural Malawi. Presbyterians Sharing … supports leadership development through medical and theological education and training programs in Kenya, Malawi, Lebanon and Eastern Europe.

JUNE BIRTHDAYS - Jay Stryker, Rosemary Brett, Pam Williamson, Alexander Murray and Julian Bowes- Anderson.

BEACHES HISTORY: When my husband and I came to Beaches in the early 80’s, Margaret and Cecil Whitehead were senior elders. They had been at Beaches for many years, in fact, the story goes that Cecil carried the Bible along Queen Street from what became Kew Beach United. Margaret’s grandson has had a tree planted in her memory on our property – it’s on Glen Manor between the two entrances. I remember Margaret as a wonderful elder, great sense of humour and determination. She always seemed to be open to new ideas and I remember her spending hours on the phone talking to members of the congregation. After Cecil died, she was living in a retirement home in Guildwood and one day Hugh Donnelly and I went to visit her. She had never met him and she was so delighted she sat up in bed and told him stories and flirted outrageously – she had such a good time. I will always remember her with fond memories.

MONDAY, JUNE 28th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

Neologisms –

Once again, the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words …. And the winners are:

Coffee - the person upon whom one coughs

Flabbergasted - appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Esplanade - to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Abdicate - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Negligent - describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph - to walk with a lisp.

Have a good week - mb

THURSDAY, JUNE 17th, 2021 - “Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.” Frank Lloyd Wright

SUNDAY, JUNE 20th, 2021 - Father’s Day - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. Guest Preacher will be Kate McGee, Executive Director of the Boarding Homes Group.

MISSION CAPSULE: June 21st is National Indigenous Peoples Day. This is a day for all Canadians to recognize and celebrate the unique heritage, diverse cultures and outstanding contributions of First Nations, Inuit and Metis peoples. The Presbyterian Church in Canada acknowledges the responsibility that our church, governments and all Canadians have to continue working for healing and justice with indigenous people. Presbyterians Sharing … supports nine ministries that operate in and with indigenous communities in Canada. These ministries meet physical and spiritual needs by providing meals, counselling, temporary housing and employment assistance. They also strive to heal hearts through art and music therapy, worship services that incorporate indigenous beliefs and more.

MONDAY, JUNE 21st, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23rd, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

More from the Teachers….

What is the meaning of the word ‘varicose’? - Close by

What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register? - Mariah Carey

What is a fibula? - A little lie

Explain the phrase ‘free press’ - When your mom irons trousers for you

What is a stand-alone computer system? - It doesn’t come with a chair.

Steve is driving his car. He is travelling at 60 feet/second and the speed limit is 40 mph. Is he speeding? - He could find out by checking his speedometer.

What is a vibration? - There are good vibrations and bad vibrations. Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960’s

Where was Hadrian’s Wall built? - Around Hadrians garden

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, JUNE 10th, 2021 - “If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and colour, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon.” George Aiken

SUNDAY, JUNE 13th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion, have some wine/juice and bread at the ready.

MISSION CAPSULE: The massive explosion that struck the city of Beirut in August 2020 left many people injured and many homes damaged. PWS&D responded to the devastating effects by meeting the needs of vulnerable people in Lebanon. Families received essential supplies, such as food and hygiene items, to sustain them as they started to rebuild. Additionally, PWS&D assisted in restoring homes and schools and provided water and sanitation kits to families, as well as school kits to children.

BEACHES HISTORY LESSON: During the 80’s when Drew Strickland was minister, it was decided to do something to make the church building a bit more welcoming – let’s face it, it’s not the most attractive church building! At the time, one of our members was a successful artist/sculptor and along with a team, designed a piece to be built between the main sidewalk and the steps to the center doors. It was to be an arch with built in benches – an impressive piece to be sure. The church applied to the Presbytery for funding and the steel was ordered. Said steel was delivered and rested in what was then the area under the sanctuary. However, artist/sculptor’s home life fell apart and he was not emotionally capable of building said structure. Presbytery wanted to know what happened to the funding – we had to produce something or return the funds. At the time, Drew and his family lived on a street that also housed many firemen. In conversation it came up that we had this problem and several of the firemen offered to help. The cross was designed, a team arrived and once it was put together it was put in place on the front lawn. Later in the year, Drew was outside one day when two women walked by and one said, “I wonder why they put a cross on the lawn in front of this building.” Drew spoke up and said “it’s a church” one of the women said, “it’s never been a church” so Drew took them both inside and they were amazed.

MONDAY, JUNE 14th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

MORE FROM THE CHILDREN:

Name one measure which can be put into place to avoid river flooding in times of extensive rainfall (eg in Mississippi) - Flooding in areas such as the Mississippi may be avoided by placing a number of big dames into the river.

Name six animals which live specifically in the Arctic - Two polar bears, four seals.

How does Romeo’s character develop throughout the play? - It doesn’t, it’s just self, self, self all the way through.

Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld - Mrs. Orpheus

Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed - At the bottom

What happens during puberty to a boy? - He says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery.

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, JUNE 3rd, 2021 - “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle: You can live as if everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

SUNDAY, JUNE 6th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULES: With support from Presbyterians Sharing - Rockland Community Church in Ontario – established initially with a focus on youth ministry – is transforming through family-style worship and mission that truly brings out the gifts of people of all ages. As their name suggests “community” is at the heart of this Christian family of faith where everyone belongs. The congregation celebrates the contributions made by each member and everyone is committed to sharing their gifts with others, whether it’s by inviting a neighbour to a home group gathering or weekly coffee house, or by organizing a Living Nativity for the wider community during Advent. Presbyterians Sharing - welcomes people into the family of God.

He was at the beginning of this upside-down year: He is at this point of this upside-down year and He will remain throughout the year ahead. Fact is, we don’t know any less about the future today than we did when this all began. The most important fact is this: God is with us.

MONDAY, JUNE 7th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00 - last session with the book Stations of the Banquet

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 9th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

WHY TEACHERS DRINK …..

Explain why phosphorus trichloride (PCL) is polar. - God made it that way

Briefly explain what hard water is: - Ice

What is a Nitrater - Much cheaper than a day rate

What was Sir Walter Raleigh famous for? - He is a noted figure in history because he invented cigarettes and started a craze for bicycles.

What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common? - Unusual names

Name one of the early Romans’ greatest achievements - learning to speak Latin

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, MAY 28th, 2021 - “Another belief of mine; everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.” Margaret Atwood

SUNDAY, MAY 30th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Four years ago, the Myanmar military began a campaign of violent attacks against the Rohingya. Widespread killing, torture, robbery and assault forced over 700,000 Rohingya from their homes into neighbouring Bangladesh. PWS&D responded and continues to do so. We are providing lifesaving food assistance and temporary shelter, and ensuring that psychosocial support is available to those who need it. To help prevent the spread of COVID-19 in the crowded refugee camps, PWS&D is helping ensure families have access to water, sanitation and hygiene facilities. Families are receiving food vouchers to help meet nutritional needs and boost the local economy.

And now Lake Ontario …

Lake Ontario is the smallest of the Great Lakes in surface area, and second smallest in depth. It’s the 14th largest lake on the planet.

The Province of Ontario was named after the lake and not vise versa.

In 1804, a Canadian warship, His Majesty’s Ship Speedy, sank in Lake Ontario. In 1990, wreck hunter Ed Burtt managed to find it. Only, he isn’t allowed to recover any artifacts until a government-approved site to exhibit them is found. He is still waiting.

Babe Ruth hit his first major league home run at Hanlan’s Point Stadium in Toronto. It landed in Lake Ontario and is believed to still be there.

A lake on Saturn’s moon Titan is named after Lake Ontario.

MONDAY, MAY 31st, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2nd, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

AND A FEW MORE LABEL INSTRUCTIONS

On a Japanese food processor - “Not to be used for the other use”

On Sainsbury’s peanuts - “Warning: contains nuts”

On an American Airlines packet of nuts - Instructions: “Open packet, eat nuts”

On a child’s Superman costume - “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly”

On a Swedish Chainsaw - “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals”

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, MAY 21st, 2021 - “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

SUNDAY, MAY 23RD, 2021 - Pentacost Sunday – we should all wear red – Worship and Arts Group leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: This year, Pentecost and Healing and Reconciliation Sunday fall on the same day, making it a day not only for celebration, but also for solemn reflection and prayer for the Indigenous children who attended residential schools and the people who are living with its legacy. Resources to help worship leaders develop services to mark the church’s birthday and honour its commitment to reconciliation are available on the PCC website at https://presbyterian.ca/worship. Gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … have helped build this comprehensive library of worship resources, providing congregations with free materials (seasonal, intergenerational, ecumenical, etc.) to do God’s work throughout the year.

FOOD BANKS - Food Banks Canada - https://foodbankscanada.ca states that food insecurity rose by 39%, affecting 1 in 7 people. That amounts to 14% of people in Canada. As a congregation, it has been suggested, that we all consider helping out where and when we can. The Calvary Baptist Food Bank is no long in existence but close to home we have the Bluffs Food Bank which is in great need of support. Cheques can be sent to Bluffs Food Bank, 33 East Road, Scarborough, M1N 1Z9

https://bluffsfoodbank.com/donate/

MORE ABOUT THE GREAT LAKES:

In the mid 19th century Lake Michigan had a pirate problem. Their booty – timber. In fact, the demise of the town of Singapore was due in large part to the rapidly deforested area surrounding the town.

Jim Dreyer swam across Lake Michigan in 1998 – 65 miles and then in 2003, he swam the length of Lake Michigan – 422 miles.

Lake Michigan was the location of the first recorded “Big Lakes Disaster” in which a steamer carrying 600 people collided with a schooner delivering lumber to Chicago. 450 people died.

MONDAY, MAY 24th, 2021 - VICTORIA DAY. Not sure at this point if Theology on Tap are meeting, if they do if will be at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 26TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

“If God can work through me, He can work through anyone.” St. Francis of Assissi

More Label Instructions:

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - “Product will be hot after heating” …

Packaging for a Rowenta Iron - “Do not iron clothes on body”

Boots Children Cough Medicine - “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication”

On Nytol Sleep Aid - “Warning: May cause drowsiness”

Most brands of Christmas lights - “For indoor or outdoor use only”

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, MAY 14th, 2021 - “Age is not important unless you are a cheese.” Helen Hayes

SUNDAY, MAY 16th, 2021 - Join us from wherever, with whomever for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Last fall, ministry leaders from across Canada came together for the Presbyterian Church in Canada’s Transform online course. Over four weeks, Rick Morse – co-creator of the New Beginnings church renewal program and author of Making a Congregational Plan that Makes Sense – challenged leaders to imagine what it means to faithfully respond to God’s mission and engage others to be missional. The course, which was made possible through gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … equipped leaders with the transformative tools, principles and insights necessary to discern God’s call for their ministries’ futures and create plans for moving forward.

MORE ABOUT THE GREAT LAKES:

Water enters and exits Lake Michigan through the same path, it takes 77 years longer for the water to replace itself than in Lake Huron, despite their similarity in size and depth – (Lake Michigan – 99 years. Lake Huron - 22 years)

When the temperature of Lake Michigan is below freezing, ice formations and “sea smoke” happens.

Within Lake Michigan there is a “triangle” with a similar reputation as the Bermuda triangle, where a large amount of strange disappearances have occurred.

Singapore, Michigan is a ghost town on the shores of Lake Michigan that was buried under sand in 1871. Because of severe weather conditions and lack of resources due to the need to rebuild after the great Chicago Fire, the town was lost completely.

MONDAY, MAY 17th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 19th, 2021 – Beaches Prayer group will gather at 9:30.

AND – David Miller former Toronto mayor, former CEO of the World Wildlife Foundation and current Director of the C40 Cities Leadership Group will discuss his book SOLVED and the role of cities and local communities in solving climate change. How the World’s Great Cities are fixing the Climate Crisis.

A Climate Change Conversation – from 7:30 – 9:00 - everyone is welcome to join the Zoom conversation hosted by St. Aidan’s Anglican and Beach United Churches. The Zoom link will be posted on the websites - https://beachunitedchurch.com and https://staidansinthebeach.com

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumers goods…….

On a Sears Hairdryer - Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary, details inside!!!

On a bar of Dial soap - Directions – use like regular soap.

On some Swanson frozen dinners - “Serving suggestions: Defrost”

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) - Do not turn upside down …..

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, MAY 6th, 2021 - “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln

SUNDAY, MAY 9th, 2021 - Join us from your couch, with your cat, for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion, so be ready with wine or juice and some bread.

MISSION CAPSULE: Fernando’s dream of becoming a police officer seemed out of reach when he and his brother were children living on the streets of Miscke, a rural village in Romania. Twelve years later, he attends university and is closer to fulfilling his dream thanks to Samuel House, where Fernando and his brother found a welcoming home. Samuel House is a Christian social ministry of the Reformed Church in Romania, Kiralyhagomeliek District, providing nutritious food, education and after school care to children from disadvantaged families. Presbyterians Sharing … has been supporting this important ministry of hope and care since 2014.

MORE GREAT LAKES: There are massive sinkholes in Lake Huron that have high amounts of sulphur and low amounts of oxygen, almost replicating the Earths ancient oceans three million years ago. Unique ecosystems are contained within them.

Lake Huron is the second largest among the Great Lakes and the fifth largest in the world.

In size, Lake Michigan ranks third among the Great Lakes and sixth among all fresh water lakes in the world.

Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that is entirely within the borders of the United States.

MONDAY, MAY 10th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 12th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

AND THE LAST OF THE SIGNAGE:

At a Propane Filling Station - “Thank heaven for little grills”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop - “Best place in town to take a leak.”

On the back of another Septic Tank Truck - “Caution – this truck is full of Political Promises!”

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, APRIL 30th, 2021 - “Many things I have tried to grasp, and have lost. That which I have placed in God’s hands, I still have.” Martin Luther

SUNDAY, MAY 2nd, 2021 – Join us for morning worship at 10:00 - Rev. Deb Stanbury, ARISE Ministry, leading. ARISE Ministry empowers individuals involved in the sex trade to reclaim their lives. Through providing outreach, case management, and spiritual care, helping relationships are established, hope is fostered and futures are reclaimed. ARISE means Advocacy and Reclaiming Individuals involved in the sex trade through Empowerment. We are a mission of the Presbytery of East Toronto and a grant receiving ministry of the Presbyterian Church in Canada. To find out more watch our videos and/or visit us at: ariseministry.ca https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBQ3vzESTzeufbvUNCCwJQw

MISSION CAPSULE: The people in Malawi’s Mzimba District face many challenges. School dropout rates are high and teen pregnancy is on the rise. More women are experiencing gender-based violence, and there is a lack of knowledge about HIV transmission and prevention. To help address and educate the community about these issues, PWS&D local partner, Livingstonia Synod AIDS Programme, has trained 20 community facilitators to teach parents how to nurture adolescents. The facilitators help parents engage youth on issues such as sexual and reproductive health, teen pregnancy, early marriage and the transmission of HIV. The project has been successful in encouraging adolescents to return to school after dropping out.

MORE ABOUT OUR GREAT LAKES:

If not for the straits of Mackinac, Lake Michigan and Lake Huron might be considered one lake. Hydrologically speaking, they have the same mean water level and are considered one lake.

The Keystone State was one of the largest wooden steamships running during the Civil War. In 1861 it disappeared. In 2013 it was found 30 miles north east of Harrisville under 175 feet of water.

Goderich Mine is the largest salt mine in the world. Part of it runs underneath Lake Huron, more than 500 meters underground.

Below Lake Huron there are 9000 year old animal herding structures used by prehistoric people from when the water levels were significantly lower.

MONDAY, MAY 3rd, 2021 - Theology on Tap will meet at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, MAY 5TH, 2021 – Beaches Prayer Group will meet at 9:30

Life in Christ involves prayer, the seeking of God’s will and blessing on all of life. Prayer is openness to the presence of God. In words, or the absence of words, prayer is the focusing of our lives towards God. As we commune with God through Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit enables us to express our deepest longings, and we experience the sustaining power of God’s presence. Living Faith 8: 1.4

More Signage:

Plumbers Truck - “Where a straight flush beats a full house”

In a Veterinarian’s Waiting Room: - “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company: - “We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant Window: - “Don’t stand there and be hungry; Come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: - “Drive carefully. We’ll wait”

Have a good week, stay safe. MB

FRIDAY, APRIL 23rd, 2021 - “There is no trick being a humourist when you have the whole government working for you.” Will Rogers

SUNDAY, APRIL 25TH, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: ARISE Ministry offers compassionate outreach and spiritual care to survivors of sexual exploitation living in the Greater Toronto Area. Inspired by Jesus’ healing of the woman who was afflicted for 18 years with a condition that kept her bent over (Luke 13:10-17) ARISE aims to help those who have been living “bent over” by exploitation, trauma, abuse and addiction. Staff and volunteers work with vulnerable women, youth and children by providing one-on-one, goal oriented support. As relationships strengthen, hope and empowerment are fostered, making it possible for futures to be reclaimed. Like the woman in the gospel of Luke, several women that ARISE has helped are now standing straight and tall and God continues to do amazing things in their lives. This is a reason to rejoice!

GREAT LAKES: Not only is Lake Erie the smallest Great Lake when it comes to volume, but it is surrounded by the most industry. Seventeen metropolitan areas each with populations of over 50,000 border the Lake Erie basin.

During the war of 1812 the U.S. beat the British in a naval battle called the Battle of Lake Erie, forcing them to abandon Detroit.

The shoreline of all the Great Lakes combined equals nearly 44% of the circumference of the planet.

MONDAY, APRIL 26TH, 2021 - Theology on Tap gathers at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

MORE SIGNAGE:

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.

On an Electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts

In a non Smoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.

On a Maternity Room Door: Push, push, push.

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.

Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary, we hear you coming.

Have a good week - MB

FRIDAY, APRIL 16th, 2021 - “The only thing that you absolutely need to know, is the location of the library.” Albert Einstein

SUNDAY, APRIL 18TH, 2021 – Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Andrew and Flora successfully grow rice, cassava, maize and groundnuts on their two acres of farmland in Malawi as a result of adopting conservation agriculture practices to help their farm flourish and better cope with droughts. Last year, Andrew and Flora attended PWS&D supported training to learn how to rotate crops and protect the soil. In addition to conservation agriculture workshops, they also attended gender training where they learned the importance of working together. With these tools, Andrew and Flora now enjoy the rewards of conservation agriculture.

NOTE: Tom Allen and his team have filmed “The Last Curlew” - more information later.

MORE GREAT LAKES:

Lake Erie is the fourth largest Great Lake in surface area and the smallest in depth. It is the 11th largest lake on the planet.

There is alleged to be a 30-40 foot long monster in Lake Erie named Bessie. The earliest recorded sighting goes back as early as 1793.

Water in Lake Erie replaces itself in only 2.6 years, which is notable considering the water in Lake Superior takes two centuries.

MONDAY, APRIL 19th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21ST, 2021 – Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

CLEVER SIGNAGE:

A sign in a Shoe Repair Store in Vancouver - We will heel you; We will save your sole; We will even dye for you…

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: - Dr. Jones, at your cervix…

Podiatrist’s Office - Time wounds all heels….

On a Septic Tank Truck - Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels…

At an Optometrist’s Office - If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place…

On a Plumber’s Truck - We repair what your husband fixed…

On another Plumber’s Truck - Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your Plumber…

Have a good week - stay home MB

THURSDAY, APRIL 8th, 2021 - “A lie goes halfway round the world before the truth can get its pants on.” Winston Churchill

SUNDAY, APRIL 11TH, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading – we will celebrate communion. Have a glass of wine/juice and some bread at the ready.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Nepal, Annakala Nepali was living in significant discomfort. Severe problems with her fingers, along with loss of sensation in her legs and tingling in her body were followed by vision problems. In Annakala’s community, many people prefer traditional healers to address their medical problems - Annakala decided to do the same. However, she still suffered after the visit. Her daughter-in-law, on seeing her in pain and suspecting that it might be due to leprosy, encouraged Annakala to visit the PWS&D supported Shining Hospital. Once she was admitted to the hospital, she was officially diagnosed with leprosy and began treatment, which has improved her symptoms and pain. Annakala is very grateful for the Shining Hospital’s care, love and support.

MONDAY, APRIL 12, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

GREAT LAKES: Contained within Lake Superior is a whopping 10% of the world’s fresh surface water.

It is estimated there are about 100 million lake trout in Lake Superior. That’s nearly one fifth of the human population of North America.

There are small outlets through which water leaves Lake Superior. It takes two centuries for all the water in the lake to replace itself.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 14TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group gathers at 9:30

AND FROM THE CHILDREN:

What’s the difference between Moms and Dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine…

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes in the back of her head.

Have a good week everyone, I will be away enjoying. MB

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31st, 2021 - “Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure” Jack Lemmon

GREAT LAKES: Lake Superior contains three quadrillion gallons of water. All five of the Great Lakes combined contain six quadrillion gallons.

Contained within Lake Superior is a whopping 10% of the world’s fresh surface water.

It is estimated that there are about 100 million lake trout in Lake Superior – that is nearly one fifth of the human population of North America.

There are small outlets through which water leaves Lake Superior. It takes two centuries for all the water in the lake to replace itself.

EASTER WEEKEND – Blessings to everyone

THURSDAY, APRIL 1st, 2021 - MAUNDY THURSDAY – Zoom dinner – traditionally soup, bread, fruit at 6:30. Tenebrae service at 7:00. We will celebrate communion – have ready, wine/juice, bread, a small container of water.

FRIDAY, APRIL 2nd, 2021 - GOOD FRIDAY SERVICE at 10:00.

SUNDAY, APRIL 4th, 2021 - EASTER SUNDAY, join us for worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion.

MISSION CAPSULE: Food is central to fellowship, providing both physical and emotional nourishment. Not surprisingly, some of the ministries supported by gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … share God’s love through food. The Raw Carrot Soup Enterprise in Hamilton, Ontario provides nourishment with their homemade soup, while giving meaningful employment to people with disabilities and mental health illnesses. Cooking and nutrition workshops at Tyndale St. Georges Community Centre in Montreal, Quebec help parents of young children open up as they discuss the challenges of parenting. Besides providing lunches at their drop-in centre, Kenora Fellowship Centre in Kenora, Ontario hosts a monthly Elder’s Breakfast to show respect and care for elderly patrons, many of whom are survivors of Indian Residential Schools. These ministries are sharing the love of Christ through hospitality.

NOTE: Beaches is facing high repair bills at the moment. Roof and brick work to combat recent leaking. Please give prayerful consideration.

MONDAY, APRIL 5th, 2021 – Easter Monday – Theology on Tap will not be meeting.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 7th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

MORE ABOUT MOM’S FROM THE CHILDREN

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year. Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?

1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world and my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because Dad’s such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

Have a blessed Easter. MB

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24th, 2021 - and in the middle of this pandemic – a prayer…..”In the name of Jesus Christ, who was never in a hurry, we pray Oh God, that you will slow us down, for we know that we live too fast. With all of eternity before us, make us take the time to live – time to get acquainted with You, time to enjoy Your blessings, and time to know each other.” Peter Marshall

SUNDAY, MARCH 28th, 2021 - Palm Sunday – Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Cole Kim leading. As we won’t be able to wave palm branches while we march about and sing, we are being asked to wave something, a scarf, a balloon, bubbles, whatever from your couch during the opening hymn.

MISSION CAPSULE: Today, there are 4.2 billion people in the world who do not have access to sanitation services and 2.2 billion people who do not have safe, clean water to drink. Consequently, many people are at risk for waterborne diseases, such a s cholera and diarrhea. The COVID-19 pandemic has made us even more aware of the importance of clean water, as handwashing is a crucial way to help curb the spread of disease. PWS&D works with local partners to bring clean water and sanitation services to vulnerable communities. Clean water allows people to harvest crops, care for their families, expand their livelihoods and lead healthy productive lives.

ITEM: Isle Royale is a massive island surrounded by Lake Superior. Within the island there are several smaller lakes. Yes, that’s a lake on a lake.

MONDAY, MARCH 29th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

ITEM: Despite it’s massive size, Lake Superior is an extremely young formation by Earth’s standards – only 10,000 years old.

There is enough water in Lake Superior to submerge all of North & South America in one foot of water.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31ST, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

MORE WHY GOD MADE MOMS – answers given by 2nd grade school children

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mother?

1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

Have a good week - MB

PS: Gary Lyon interviewed me recently and asked what was my favourite Psalm. It is 139 – always has been. He printed 39 – I read it and it would never be my favourite, just sayin….

FRIDAY, MARCH 19th, 2021 - “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, …. You’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!” Dave Barry

SATURDAY, MARCH 20th, 2021 - First day of Spring ……hooray

SUNDAY, MARCH 21st, 2021 - Join us from your couch for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Presbyterians Sharing … provides financial assistance for seminary students to gain ministry experience by serving in rural and remote congregations across the country. Last summer Samuel Andri, a student from the Vancouver School of Theology, served in the Synod of Saskatchewan. Due to COVID-19, Samuel led online worship and helped deliver a Vacation Bible School program virtually. Though his responsibilities were fulfilled online instead of in person, it did not make his experience any less meaningful. When asked about his summer experience, Samuel said, “I am forever grateful for the opportunity to reflect on what it means to serve God in more rural areas of Canada and to reflect on the beauty of serving God in a more close-knit community even through online platforms.”

MONDAY, MARCH 22nd, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00 ….

ITEM: Lake Superior is actually not a lake at all, but an inland sea….

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

ITEM: All of the other four Great Lakes plus three more the size of Lake Erie would fit inside Lake Superior …..

WHY GOD MADE MOMS - answers given by 2nd grade school children.

Why did God make mothers?

1, She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Have a good week – stay safe. MB

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10th, 2021 - “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened; vision cleared; ambition inspired and success achieved.” Helen Keller

THURSDAY, MARCH 11th, 2021 - Beaches Session will gather at 7:30

SUNDAY, MARCH 14th, 2021 - Fourth Sunday in Lent - join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion. Have some bread and wine or juice ready.

SUNDAY, MARCH 14th, 2021 - Don’t forget to put your clocks ahead one hour – spring is arriving!! It’s a year since Covid arrived to disrupt our lives!!

MISSION CAPSULE: On March 8th we celebrated International Women’s Day and reflected on the work the church is doing around the world to help achieve gender equality. Through PWS&D we support programs that help marginalized women and girls reach their full potential, access quality education and health care, achieve economic independence and advocate for their rights. Empowering and supporting vulnerable women and girls not only creates self-reliance but is crucial to ending poverty and hunger. When women are empowered they help build a more sustainable and just world.

MORE MARCH BIRTHDAYS - Maureen Monk and Gary Lyons

MONDAY, MARCH 15th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

Words of Wisdom:

Success comes before work only in the dictionary - Unknown

Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes - Henry Kaiser

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both - Dwight D. Eisenhower

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. - Mark Twain

Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential - Winston Churchill

People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity - Andrew Carnegie

Have a good week - MB

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 3rd, 2021 - “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” Truman Capote

SUNDAY, MARCH 7th, 2021 - Third Sunday in Lent - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Serving Palestinians in Gaza, Jerusalem, the West Bank, Jordan and Lebanon since 1948, the work of the Department of Service to Palestinian Refugees in health care, education and food security is essential. When COVID 19 struck, DSPR Director, Dr. Bernard Sabella, knew they needed the support of their friends. DSPR invited partners to attend five webinars to learn and understand the economic and political challenges and to hear from people working on the ground. Partners were asked to fund the webinars, and International Ministries was one of the first to respond. Gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … have supported DSPR since 2011 in their ministry of maintaining human dignity and hope for Palestinian refugees.

BIRTHDAYS IN MARCH - Tom A., Marlene B., Michael B., Elisabeth G., Tineke J.

MONDAY, MARCH 8th, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10th, 2021 – Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

A recent publication on the marketing of cabbage, contains, according to one report, 26,941 words. It is noteworthy in this regard that the Gettysburg Address contains a mere 279 words, while The Lord’s Prayer comprises but 67.

More Gems from test papers from a British School …

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the west.

Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the fall when the apples are falling off the trees.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

Queen Victoria was the longest Queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Now Queen Elizabeth is now beating her.

Have a good week MB

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26th, 2021 - “opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work” Thomas Edison

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 28th, 2021 - Second Sunday in Lent – Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: “As a family, we try to take all the necessary measures, like covering our nose when sneezing, avoiding shaking hands or going places where there might be large crowds. For many of the families in our community, it’s not possible to acquire protection materials like face masks, gloves, hand sanitizer or cleaning materials due to rising prices in the market. We are so thankful for all of you and the help you bring to our community.” Like many in Nicaragua, Maria struggles to access proper protection materials and cleaning products due to the COVID 19 pandemic. PWS&D, through local partners, is helping people like Maria and her whole community, receive hygiene and sanitation items, ensuring they are prepared to safely face the pandemic.

NOTE: The Clerk and Session of Beaches would like to thank everyone for their input into our Annual General Meeting that took place last Sunday. A special thank you should go to our Treasurer, Julie Erickson, who has worked tirelessly over the past year in keeping us on a financial even keel as we have had to deal with loss of income and the various government funds set up to help organisations through these trying times.

Love wholeheartedly, be surprised, give thanks and praise. Then you will discover the fullness of your life. Brother David Steindl-Rast

MONDAY, MARCH 1st, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 3rd, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” Mark Twain

Again …. Gems from actual test papers from a British School….

A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

Have a good week – stay safe. MB

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17th, 2021 - 7:00 – Ash Wednesday Service – please have ready a candle; some fireplace ash or candlewick ash or some olive oil to use to put the sign of the cross on your forehead during the service.

By the end of February the sun will not set until 5:41. By the end of March – 7:37. April – 8:30. May – 9:17. June – 9:34. Better days are coming.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21st, 2021 - First Sunday of Lent - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Cole Kim leading. Following worship our Annual General Meeting will take place.

MISSION CAPSULE: We live in a world that is constantly changing. The past year brought unprecedented change, and we had to learn to adapt in our lives, jobs and congregations. In the midst of so much change, Presbyterians Sharing … has continued to support the mission and ministry we do together – often in new and adaptive ways. What hasn’t changed is our commitment to one another, discerning together, moving forward together, being in community together, sharing God’s message together, moving forward together, being in community together, sharing God’s message together, confronting injustice together and caring for vulnerable people together. That’s what Presbyterians Sharing … is all about. As we put our gifts into God’s hands, God is doing remarkable things.

NOTE: One of the things we are missing is celebrating birthdays with cake. This month Klaas Kraay, Don Anderson, Jerry Greer, Will Greenley, Nathan Greenley, Liz vanZanden, Carol Olson and Sybil Hiraishi are celebrating their birthdays.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22nd, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 24th, 2021 – Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

STUFF: The following are comments from actual test papers from a British School…. Spelling has not been changed.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other!

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Momentum: what you give a person when they are going away.

To prevent milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

The parts of speech are lungs and air.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes!!

Have a good week - MB

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2021 - “When the song of the angels is stilled, when the star in the sky is gone, when the Kings and Princes are home, when the shepherds are back with their flocks, the work of Christmas begins, to find the lost, to heal the broken, to feed the hungry, to release the prisoners, to rebuild the nations, to bring peace among the people, to make music in the heart.” Howard Thurman

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading, we will celebrate communion so have wine/juice and some bread at the ready.

MISSION CAPSULE: St. Stephen’s Presbyterian Church in Creston, B.C., is a small, remote church tucked away in the Kootenay Valley. With a grant from Presbyterians Sharing … to support ministry in remote communities, they called the Rev. Stephen Vangroonen to their congregation in the hope that he would help strengthen and grow their ministry. But shortly after he and his family arrived the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and the congregation found itself adapting quickly to move their services online. Then, when churches were permitted to reopen, they had to adapt to the new health and safety protocols. Throughout it all, the Rev. Vangroonen has blessed St. Stephen’s with a positive outlook, continually encouraging the new community he serves to trust God and share the love of Christ with others – a meaningful message during these turbulent times.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15th, 2021 - Family Day – Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16th, 2021 - Pancake Tuesday

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 AND ASH WEDNESDAY SERVICE at 7:00 – Beginning of Lent.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21ST, 2021 - Following worship, Beaches Annual Meeting.

WHY?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables what is baby oil made from?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a ride in the car, he sticks his head out the window?

How did the man who made the first clock know what time it was?

Have a good week – be safe MB

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 4th, 2021 - “The Swiss have everything to offer, except perhaps, conversation!” Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 7th, 2021 - Please join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: PWS&D Sunday ….. Inspired by God’s promise of abundant life, PWS&D envisions a sustainable, compassionate and just world. On PWS&D Sunday, we celebrate and reflect on the work our church is doing to ensure vulnerable communities around the world are able to improve their quality of life. From responding to emergencies, to helping people access nutritious food, clean water, adequate health care and quality education, PWS&D is helping people thrive. Through the generous support of individuals and congregations, and in collaboration with global partners, we respond together.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8th, 2021 - Theology on Tap continue to meet via Zoom at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group gather at 9:30

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17th, 2021 - Join us for our annual Ash Wednesday Service at 7:00 – to celebrate the beginning of Lent.

TO WHAT QUESTION CAN YOU NEVER ANSWER YES TO?

NOTE: In the planning stage – services for Maunday Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

WHY??

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

Why are you in a movie but you’re on TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then pay for binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Have a good week - MB

The answer is - Are you sleeping?

FRIDAY, JANUARY 29th, 2021 - “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29.11

SUNDAY, JANUARY 31st, 2021 - Join us with your coffee for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: When Cristina Flete gave birth to her first baby, she wasn’t aware of how crucial exclusive breastfeeding and developmental activities could be to her child’s long-term health. When her second child was born, Christina attended a workshop facilitated by PWS&D’s local partner in Nicaragua. With other mothers, Cristina learned the importance of breastmilk for a child’s developing brain and how to create materials to stimulate her child’s mind. Additionally, culinary classes empower parents with tools to help with their families’ overall health. With PWS&D support, families are combating malnutrition and chronic illness, giving their babies the best chance for a future of good health.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1st, 2021 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3rd, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30

“In the name of Jesus Christ, who was never in a hurry, we pray Oh God, that you will slow us down, for we know that we live too fast. With all of eternity before us, make us take the time to live – time to get acquainted with you, time to enjoy your blessings and time to know each other.” Peter Marshall

PONDERISMS:

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out that it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going?

Can you cry under water?

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a diet coke?

Have a good week - stay safe. MB

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22nd, 2021 - “There is no trick being a humourist when you have the whole government working for you.” Will Rogers

SUNDAY, JANUARY 24th, 2021 - Bring your coffee and your cat and join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Syria, conflict continues to plague the population, causing over six million people to become internally displaced. As a result, many people are faced with a lack of access to food, loss of employment, high prices and inflation, making them very vulnerable. COVID-19 has only exacerbated the situation. Working with partners at Canadian Foodgrains Bank, PWS&D is providing food baskets to 7,400 families to help meet daily food requirements. During these times of uncertainty, the food baskets will provide a source of sustenance for the families.

MONDAY, JANUARY 25th, 2021 - Theology on Tap continues to gather at 7:00

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” John Wesley

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27th, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group meet at 9:30 am

AND from the children …

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance …

The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels …

The epistels were the wives of the apostles …

One of the oppossums was St. Mathew who was also a taximan ….

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage …

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony ….

Have a good week – be safe MB

FRIDAY, JANUARY 15th, 2021 - “The best thing about the future is that is comes only one day at a time.” Abraham Lincoln

SUNDAY, JANUARY 17th, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00, with your coffee, Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate Communion – have a glass of wine/juice and bread ready.

MISSION CAPSULE: Anxious and unsure about his future, Abdul was 14 years old when he joined the electronics and computer program offered by the Joint Christian Committee for Social Service (JCC) in Lebanon. Now 19 years old and equipped with a diploma and five years of experience, he has a good job and an income to support his family. JCC’s vocational training programs teach marketable skills and offer hope for many young Palestinian refugees who are out of school and living without a dream or ambition. Through gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … the PCC has been supporting this lifegiving program since 2018. Sylvia Haddad, JCC Director, shared that “equipping youth, and especially refugees who have nothing, with a skill or vocation is very important. The challenge is great, but we cannot give up and are grateful for your support.”

MONDAY, JANUARY 18th, 2021 - Theology on Tap continue to meet at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, JANAUARY 20TH, 2021 - Beaches Prayer Group meet at 9:30.

AND this is a piece of Canadian History that is not known by many.

All over the Netherlands during WW2, the Germans took the large and small church bells to melt down and make into bullets. When word got around to Groningen the locals would have none of it. They took the bells down, buried them and seeded crops on top of them so the Germans couldn’t find them. One man made a map of where the bells were buried and hid the map in a church basement so they could get them after the war.

Canadian troops were billeted all over the area immediately following the end of WW2. It took a lot of time and effort to dig up the bells, clean them, hoist them up into the tower and mount them. The “Chime Master” was expected to play the Dutch National Anthem the 1st time the bells were to ring out after the many years of silence …. but he had another plan.

He approached the officers of the Canadian Soldiers who had liberated Groningen and asked them, “what is the song of the Canadians” the officers responded “God Save the King” “Ya, Ya… that is the official song of the British Empire … I would like to know the song of Canada!” Then they replied, “O Canada”.. No one had the sheet music to O Canada, but a Chaplin in the Canadian Army that was stationed there had a good clear voice and he was summoned and sang O Canada a few times for the Chime Master who wrote down the notes, climbed into the tower and for the first song to be played in years, he played “O Canada” as a tribute to the soldiers who had liberated Groningen.

Have a good week, hopefully MB

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6th, 2021 - “Imagination is more important than knowledge” Albert Einstein

AND In my building, yesterday, we were treated to a conference via Zoom for 90 min. with two doctors from Michael Garron Hospital on the topic of Covid and the vaccine. It was very interesting and very informative. Then, this morning a team arrived and gave all of us the drug, Long Term Care, staff and residents. It was all very efficient and they said they would be back in two weeks for the second dose. All the while I was thinking how lucky I am to live here and this is our tax dollars at work, as it cost us nothing. Gotta love health care!

SUNDAY, JANUARY 10TH, 2021 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Elder Heather Crisp will be leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: A website extends the ministry and mission of a congregation beyond church walls, giving members the ability to make the most of their church experience and allowing visitors the opportunity to learn more about a congregation. A great church website should share details about your congregation’s ministry, highlight news and events, offer online worship services and let people know about upcoming activities, mission projects and fundraisers. Your gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … equip congregations and groups of the PCC with simple and easily maintained websites through PCCWeb – a free web hosting and technical support service provided by the Communications Office. To learn more, visit presbyterian.ca/pccweb .

MONDAY, JANUARY 11th, 2021 - Theology on Tap continues to gather at 7:00. The new book is Theology for Skeptics by Dorothee Solle.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13th, 2021 -- Beaches Prayer Group gathers at 9:30.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 14th, 2021 - Beaches Session will gather via zoom for our January meeting.

Give gratitude and maintain a positive attitude, there is always so much to be grateful for. Once I’ve counted my blessings, I always find more. Angel Power

MORE FROM THE CHILDREN:

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.

Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the magna carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.

St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.

Have a good week – look after yourselves. MB