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    June 23, 2022

THURSDAY, JUNE 23rd, 2022 - “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” Albert Einstein

FRIDAY, JUNE 24th, 2022 - ENLIVENED – A Service of worship celebrating Pride….8:30pm ADT / 7:30pm EDT Zoom link:

SATURDAY, JUNE 25th, 2022 – Historic Walk with Gene Domagala – 1:00 meet at the N/W corner of Woodbine and Queen near the fire station and continue along Queen to the Ashbridge Estate.

SUNDAY, JUNE 26th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 in person or via Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Malawi, Winson is the sole guardian of his 11 year old grandson, Emmanuel. Emmanuel who is HIV positive was often sick in the first nine years of his life despite being on antiretroviral drugs to treat his HIV status. One day, Winson attended a workshop on making backyard gardens, where he learned how these gardens can improve nutrition. Inspired Winson planted his own backyard garden with various vegetables. The garden has not only improved his family’s diet but has also become a source of income. Now, Emmanuel is not getting sick as often as he used to. This project, providing assistance to vulnerable children and their caregivers, is supported through the church by PWS&D.

FOR FUN: A church was celebrating it’s 100th anniversary and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point the minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, “Does anyone know what the bishop does?” There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered – “He’s the one you can move diagonally.”

MONDAY, JUNE 27th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather via Zoom at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 in the prayer room.

Strenuous activities without physical effort:

- Beating around the bush

- Jumping to conclusions

- Climbing the wall

- Swallowing your pride

- Passing the buck

- Throwing your weight around

- Dragging your heels

- Pushing your luck

- Making mountains out of molehills

- Hitting the nail on the head

- Bending over backwards

- Jumping on the bandwagon

Have a good week - I will be away … MB

    June 17, 2022

FRIDAY, JUNE 17th, 2022 - “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
Bertrand Russell

SUNDAY, JUNE 19th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 in person or via Zoom – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. If you come in person you can check out our new front steps.

MISSION CAPSULE: Evangel Hall Mission, a mission of the Presbytery of East Toronto, offers welcome, sanctuary and hope to people experiencing homelessness and poverty and struggling with mental health and additions. A recent initiative of the mission if the Peer Worker Program. Employed by Evangel Hall Mission, peer workers are living role models. They share their own struggles and journeys and act as bridges to help others access Evangel Hall’s community resources. It is through gifts to Presbyterian Sharing … that peer workers are able to share and inspire hope.

COMING UP: JUNE 26th, 2022 - Stewardship Sunday AND coffee hour to resume in the narthex.

MONDAY, JUNE 20th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

Wednesday, JUNE 22nd, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather in the prayer room at 9:30


Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Evan though Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the cover charge of $3.50. The Jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000. and dental expenses.!!

This year’s runaway First Place Stella award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma who purchased a new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.

Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also, not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Have a good week - MB

    June 10, 2022

FRIDAY, JUNE 10th, 2022 - “Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, then you too can be anything you want”

SUNDAY, JUNE 12th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person, masked, or on Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: In the aftermath of a devastating earthquake that struck Haiti in August 2021, PWS&D responded through the ACT Alliance. The emergency response supported 400 families in rebuilding their homes. This response was modeled after successful rebuilding projects following Hurricane Matthew in 2016. In addition, non-food items, including shelter and hygiene kits, were provided for 1500 families, nutritious food for 1300 families and agricultural support and supplies for 500 farmers. Community leaders and local volunteers also learned about community based humanitarian action when confronting a crisis. This knowledge sharing is meant to ensure that when future disasters happen, communities will know how to implement an effective response.

NOTE: Beaches is happy to be taking part in the Toronto Little Free Pantries Project. At the front of the building along Glen Manor by the ramp, there is a beautiful wooden pantry where you can donate any non-perishable food item for people in need in the community.

MONDAY, JUNE 13th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will be meeting on the Balmy Beach Club Patio to discuss “The Covid Collection” I will provide a list of those titles we have read on Zoom since the beginning of the COVID pandemic. We will also need to make a few decisions.

Last summer and the summer before we continued to meet on Zoom because people could not go places and in many cases were isolated. This year things are different. Many of our members have travel plans and will be spending multiple weeks away. Should we continue to meet through the summer months, or should we postpone reading Jewish and Christian Women in the Ancient Mediterranean until September 12th?? If you are unable to attend next Monday, please let either Erin Sclisizzi or M.J.Perry know your views on what we should do during the summer. Thanks. M.J. PERRY

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather in the prayer room at 9:30


Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas, garnered 4th place in the Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500. Plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbours beagle – even though the beagle was on a chain in it’s owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania wins third place because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500. after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor; Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.!!!

Have a good week - MB

    June 3, 2022

FRIDAY, JUNE 3rd. 2022 - Ho Hum here we go again, another ford years……..

SUNDAY, JUNE 5th, 2022 - D-Day Parade and Memorial Service at St. John’s Norway. Parade begins at 1:00 at Norway Public School – marching along Kingston Road to St. John’s Cemetery.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person or on Zoom - Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. This will be a special kind of service with music and readings.

MISSION CAPSULE: The Central Alberta Shared Ministry initiative is a collaborative partnership that enables support and resource sharing between Knox Presbyterian Church and West Park Presbyterian Church in Red Deer and St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church in Innisfail. Together the three congregations are embarking on a journey of education about congregational vitality and are developing plans to renew their ministries. The aim of the partnership is to support one another as they work towards congregational health. Once the Shared Ministry has attained stability, the partnership will welcome a new congregation. It is through gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … that the Presbytery of Central Alberta is able to experiment with this model of ministry.

JUNE BIRTHDAYS - - Jay Stryker, Rosemary Brett-Horn, Pam Williamson, Alexander Murray, Julian Anderson Bowes, Kevin McCloskey

I was reading about Toronto’s early days this morning and came across this information. In 1901 yearly building permits amounted to 3.5 million and by 1909 they had risen to 18 million. Interesting …..

MONDAY, JUNE 6th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather via Zoom at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather in the prayer room at 9:30

The latest “Stella Awards”

For those of you who are unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and sued McDonalds where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. These were awards for the most outlandish lawsuits in the U.S.

SEVENTH PLACE: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

SIXTH PLACE: Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

FIFTH PLACE: Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.
Forced to sit for eight days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.

Enjoy the week - MB

    May 27, 2022

FRIDAY, MAY 27th, 2022 - “I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” Arthur Rubinstein

AND – “The Flame Eternal.” A musical meditation for “Peace, Love and Understanding” at Kingston Road United Church – 7:30 pm – Written and produced by guitarist Mark Battenberg and featuring flute, cello and violin. This is a free event. Please bring non-perishable food items for the food bank and please wear a mask.

SUNDAY, MAY 29th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person, masked or on Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Ghana, 25 year old Dominic Anane was born with a congenital hearing disability. Like many in Ghana who have disabilities, Dominic was discriminated against. His family and community denied him formal education as a result of negative cultural attitudes associated with his disability. One day, Dominic was identified during a survey by a community based rehabilitation staff member and enrolled in a program where he was provided with a sewing machine and vocational training in tailoring and dressmaking. Today Dominic has established his own business and makes dresses for customer s in his community. Dominic expressed his gratitude “I feel privileged to have benefitted from the community based program, which has truly made my life meaningful.” This livelihood program is supported by the church through PWS&D.

MONDAY, MAY 30th, 2022 - Beaches-East York Candidates Meeting at Kingston Road United Church – 7:30 – 9:30 pm

MONDAY, MAY 30th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather via zoom at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1st, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 am in the Prayer Room


Cattle farmers aren’t terribly excited about magpies, as they will peck at a cow’s hide, looking for grubs and other parasites. Magpies are also known to be (1) mischievous, and (2) a problem for small animals and children – they will swoop down and attack anything they perceive as being a threat to them.

Remarkably, magpies can recognize the faces of as many as 30 people, which is the average number who live within a magpie’s territory. Very rarely do magpies attack more than one or two people out of the 30…it’s the same individual people that they attack each time. Why? It seems they perceive some individuals as threatening and if that’s you then you are in for it!

Magpies also have long memories. A research assistant reports being attacked upon his return after 15 years away from one bird’s territory. To give them their positive due, magpies have a beautiful song of extraordinary complexity. And they are smart. In fact, the Australian magpie is one of the cleverest birds on earth.

Recently, the results of scientific experiments were published in the journal Australian Field Ornithology. The study showed just how clever magpies really are and, in the process, revealed a highly unusual example in nature of birds helping one another without any apparent tangible benefit to themselves. Dominique Potvin, an animal ecologist at University of the Sunshine Coast in Australia, set out to study magpie social behavior. She and her team spent around six months perfecting a harness that would carry miniature tracking devices and thus track their behavior.

The birds flew off without any indication of distress, but then those wily magpies went to work to foil the plan. “The first tracker was off half an hour after we put it on,” Potvin said. “We were literally packing up our gear and watching it happen.” In a remarkable act of cooperation, the magpie wearing the tracker remained still while another magpie worked at the harness with its beak. Within 20 minutes, the helping magpie had found the only weak point – a single clasp, barely a millimeter long – and snipped it with its beak. Dr. Potvin and her team later saw different magpies removing harnesses from two other birds outfitted with them. Whereas it took the scientists six months to “perfect” the tracking devices, the magpies had removed all five with three days!

Interesting ….

Have a good week - MB

    May 20, 2022

FRIDAY, MAY 20th, 2022 - “Some men see things as they are and ask Why? I dream things that never were and ask Why not?”
Robert F. Kennedy

SATURDAY, MAY 21st, 2022 - Historic Walk with Gene Domagala – 1:00 – meet at the NW corner of Woodbine and Danforth. See the site of one of the oldest hotel buildings in the area and hear stories of the Danforth. Learn about the Massey Harris estate.

SATURDAY, SUNDAY & MONDAY, MAY 21ST – 23rd, 2022 - Annual Spring Plant Sale at 14 Lyall Avenue. 10:00 - 6:00 each day. Garden perennials – to raise funds for local food banks etc.

SUNDAY, MAY 22nd, 2022 - Noon Hour Recital at Kingston Road United Church – 12:00 – Classical Guitar and Flute.

SUNDAY, MAY 22nd, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person, masked or on Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MONDAY, MAY 23rd, 2022 - Fireworks at Ashbridges Bay – 10:00

Anyone play Balderdash?? OK – the word is skelf – s k e l f …..

The definitions are; A sliver; A type of Shellfish, similar to a scallop; A cheater; A brash talker; A scraper. One of these is correct. You have to read to the bottom!!

MISSION CAPSULE: living Waters is a mission of the Presbytery of Lindsay-Peterborough that reaches out to marginalized people in downtown Peterborough. The Rev. Jonathan Baird regularly visits people living on the streets and invites them to the two drop-in programs that Living Waters Mission runs in partnership with the Bridge Youth Centre. The program offers meals, support, counseling and Christian fellowship. One woman, who struggles with mental health and addiction, expressed her appreciation. “I come here because it is the only place where I feel loved.”

MONDAY, MAY 23rd, 2022 - Theology on Tap meet regularly on Mon days at 7:00 via Zoom. I am not sure they will meet this coming Monday due to the holiday.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather in the prayer room at 9:30

Well, Skelf is NOT a type of Shellfish; nor is it a cheater; or a brash talker; or a wood scraper; it turns out that is a sliver!!

AND for those of you who think they know everything ….

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5.00 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps - they don’t appear until the child reaches 2 – 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about ten.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”,

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

Have a good week - be alert, be masked – in my building we currently have 18 cases of COVID!!

    May 13, 2022

FRIDAY, MAY 13th, 2022 - “One of the great pleasures in life is doing what people say you cannot do” Author unknown

SUNDAY, MAY 15th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10 - Zoom or in person. In person requires a mask, Zoom requires coffee. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Malawi, unreliable rainfall patterns are a significant issue affecting farmers. As a result of climate change, these unpredictable rains greatly impact food security and limit what farmers can and cannot plant. To assist farmers in Malawi’s Karonga District, workshops that teach conservation agriculture techniques are held. Farmers learn how to use mulch and make compost to nourish the soil and grow better crops. Farmers also learn other essential techniques, including weed and pest management, to address the ongoing challenges of climate. Since implementing a conservation agriculture approach many farmers have increased their crop yields. This project us supported by PWS&D in partnership with Canadian Foodgrains Bank.

NOTE: We have a place for food contributions for the neighbourhood. It is found on Glen Manor at the base of the ramp.

MONDAY, MAY 16th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather via Zoom at 7:00.

Wednesday, MAY 18th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather in the prayer room at 9:30.


A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out it’s tongue

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Have good week - MB

    May 5, 2022

THURSDAY, MAY 5th, 2022 - I’M BACK – enjoy, I hope …..

SATURDAY, MAY 7th, 2022 - Jazz & Reflection at Beach United Church – 4:30 – featuring Laura Robinson, Paul Novotny and Ewen Farncombe. Performing Springtime with Joni – a Tribute to Joni Mitchell

SUNDAY, MAY 8th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion. In person worship requires masks. If you are joining us via Zoom have at the ready some bread and wine.

MISSION CAPSULE: Presbyterians Sharing … is transforming lives in Central America and Mexico. Based in Guatemala, General Coordinator Judith Castaneda and the staff of the Protestant Center for Pastoral Studies in Central America are empowering women and girls through their ministry of accompaniment. Women learn how to take on leadership roles in churches and their communities through faith-based activities about their personal and legal rights, and the importance of formal education. After completing CEDEPCA’s Healthy Relationships course, one woman said, “I feel like a different woman. Before I used to live locked in my home with a domestic routine, but now I have new friends and we do creative things.”

MONDAY, MAY 9th, 2022 - Theology on tap with gather at 7:00 via Zoom.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 11TH, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 in the Prayer Room

NOTE: Recently the Girl Guides and Brownie groups who meet at Beaches, and have for many years, along with our administrative staff, had a box built to hold food and/or other supplies. It has been attached to the ramp on Glen Manor. A week ago it was full, I noticed yesterday it is almost empty. If you feel like adding to it, it would be greatly appreciated.

AND THIS - Ten faith groups in Beaches East York are hosting a candidates meeting for the June 2nd Provincial election. People can attend the meeting in person at The Church of the Resurrection at 1100 Woodbine Avenue or on Zoom on Thursday May 12th at 7:00pm.

As people of faith we have a responsibility : to create a more just and equitable world; To care for one another and for successive generations, and, to protect and preserve God’s creation.

These responsibilities oblige us to shape how we live in our community, how we value people who are vulnerable and how we tend to creation. The meeting will give us a chance to hear the ideas of the various candidates and political parties on important issues, like – Housing and Homelessness; Environment and Climate Change; Education; and Health Care. To attend the event in person or on Zoom, register at


The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a – Herd of Cows, A Flock of Chickens, A School of Fish, a Gaggle of Geese and a Pride of Lions.

However, less widely known is – A Murder of Crows, An Exaltation of doves, and presumably because they look so wise – A Congress of Owls. Now consider a group of Baboons - - they are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates…. And what is the proper collective noun for a group a baboons? A Parliament. Yes, A Parliament of Baboons! Think about it!

Have a good week MB

    April 1, 2022

FRIDAY, APRIL 1st, 2022 -- “I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.” Jack Benny

APRIL 1st – 24th, 2022 - Beach Guild of Fine Art Spring show online.

SATURDAY, APRIL 2nd, 2022 - 4:30 - Jazz & reflection: Featuring Alison Young and Jeff McLeod – Saxaphone and Piano. This will be an “in person” event…..Beach United Church

b>SUNDAY, APRIL 3rd, 2022 - Join us – IN PERSON – for morning worship at 10:00. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. Masks will be worn.

MISSION CAPSULES: The earth’s ecosystems are dynamic, diverse and awe-inspiring. All creatures rely on them for our lives and well-being. But the delicate balance that maintains a climate comfortable for humans and other creatures is changing. Greenhouse gasses, such as carbon dioxide, emitted by human beings through the combustion of fossil fuels, are warming the earth’s surface and the oceans. The impacts of climate change are being felt all over the world. The church acknowledges that: global warming represents one of the most serious global environmental challenges to the health, security and stability of human life and natural ecosystems. Our climate is a public good and all humanity is responsible for taking care of it, especially those who live in countries that produce a disproportionate share of greenhouse gasses.

APRIL BIRTHDAYS: Jack Locke; Jonathan Brett-Horn; Jonathan Williamson; Mary Rae Shantz

MONDAY, APRIL 4th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather by Zoom at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather – in person – at 9:30.

SUNDAY, APRIL 10th, 2022 - Palm Sunday Service - this will be a Jazz Service.

THURSDAY, APRIL 14th, 2022 - Maundy Thursday service – in person – we are in discussion about holding our pot luck soup; bread and fruit dinner. More later.

FRIDAY, APRIL 15th, 2022 - 10:00 - Good Friday service.



ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them, the live ones put up too much of a fight!

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: and Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

Have a good week - MB

    March 25, 2022

FRIDAY, MARCH 25th, 2022 - “If you have to have a job in this world, being a high priced movie star is a pretty good gig” Tom Hanks

SUNDAY, MARCH 27th, 2022 - Fourth Sunday in Lent - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person, with a mask – or on Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: In Nepal, Pallu Oli knew something wasn’t right when he felt a burning sensation on his leg. After seeing the doctor, Pallu was prescribed medicine but did not feel better after taking it. As his health worsened, Pallu wondered why he hadn’t healed yet. His son suggested that he visit the Shining Hospital. At the hospital, Pallu was diagnosed with leprosy and entered a treatment program (which he has since completed). Sharing his experience, Pallu expressed, “I am very happy that my disease is diagnosed and is treated accordingly” The Shining Hospital is supported by PWS&D.


Palm Sunday – Jazz Service

Maundy Thursday Service

Good Friday Service

Easter Sunday Service

Beaches Easter Parade

POPULAR EXPRESSIONS - “To Beat about the Bush” To approach a matter indirectly or in a roundabout way. The expression has evolved from early hunting methods for catching birds. One team of hunters would approach the birds hiding in the undergrowth from the sides, so as to drive them into the path of another team, who would catch them with nets as they took off. This task of literally beating the bushes in which the birds take shelter is still an important part of pheasant shooting today.

“Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea” Caught between two evils or dangers, in a dilemma with nowhere to turn. This saying may be of nautical origin, the ‘devil’ being a term for a seam in the hull of a ship that ran along the waterline. A commonly used modern phrase with a similar meaning is ‘between a rock and a hard place’.

MONDAY, MARCH 28th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00 via Zoom

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather in person at 9:30


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?

WITNESS He’s 20, much like your IQ

ATTORNEY: Where you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you kidding me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?


ATTORNEY; and what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: getting laid

ATTORNEY: She had three children right?


ATTORNEY: How many were boys?


ATTORNEY: Where there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a new attorney.

Have a good week: MB

    March 18, 2022

FRIDAY, MARCH 18th, 2022 - “When Ginger Rogers danced with Astaire, it was the only time in the movies when you looked at the man, not the woman.” Gene Kelly

SATURDAY, MARCH 19th, 2022 - Music for the Harp with Kathryn Merriam at Beach United Church – 4:30 - Livestream / In person options to attend. Covid protocols will be followed.

SUNDAY, MARCH 20th, 2022 - Third Sunday in Lent - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person – Covid protocols will be followed – or on Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: Through gifts to Presbyterians Sharing … The Presbyterian Church in Canada is able to support many important outreach ministries associated with Cyclical PCC, a church planting support initiative. One such ministry is Cornerstone Ministries. They provide Christian hope and healing through innovative and supportive practices to struggling single moms and families in the Dunnville area of Ontario. Since moving most of their ministry work online, many more people have been positively impacted by Cornerstone. Through outreach, counselling and practical support, over 200 local families have come to know the God who loves them, helping them to blossom in faith, courage and wholeness.

THE BACK OF BEYOND - This is an Australian expression, nineteenth century in origin, which is now commonly used to describe any remote areas but which originally referred to the vast spaces of the interior of the country, the Great Outback. The ‘back” reduced from ‘back country’ is the outlying territory behind the settled regions, and the term, ‘backlock’ is found in 1850, referring to those territories of Australia split up by the government into blocks for settlement.

BALLPARK FIGURE: A financial North Americanism that has taken hold in Britain, this is an estimate, or a budget figure, which might better be described as a ‘guesstimate’. A ballpark is a large stadium built specifically for the game of baseball, and the phrase ‘in the same ballpark’ was originally used when two figures, the projected and the real figure, were reasonably close. Over time, the term has evolved so that the estimated figure is now known as a ‘ballpark figure’.

MONDAY, MARCH 21st, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00 via Zoom

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23rd, 2022 - Beaches prayer Group will gather at 9:30 - in person

The following are taken from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY – What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS - He said, “Where am I Cathy?”
ATTORNEY - And why did that upset you?
WITNESS - My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY - What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
WITNESS - Gucci sweats and Reeboks

ATTORNEY - What is your date of birth?
WITNESS - July 18th,
ATTORNEY - What year?
WITNESS - Every year

ATTORNEY - How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS - Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY - How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS - Forty five years.

ATTORNEY - This myasstenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY - and it what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS - I forget.
ATTORNEY - You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

Have a good week – see you in church - MB

    March 11, 2022

FRIDAY, MARCH 11th, 2022 - “The best car safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop in it.” Dudley Moore


SUNDAY, MARCH 13th, 2022 - SECOND SUNDAY IN LENT - Join us for morning worship at 10 – IN PERSON – or on Zoom. Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion. If you are on Zoom have wine and bread ready. If you choose to join in person, masks are still required.

MISSION CAPSULES: In Afghanistan, Fatima had always dreamed of attending school. However most schools were far from her home and, as a girl, it was unsafe for her to travel to them. At the age of ten Fatima’s dreams finally came true. She learned about a school near her village and persuaded her father to enroll her. “After completing my studies, I will become a teacher and become a role model for other girls and women in our village,” Fatima shared. Though the current political situation in Afghanistan has left many children uncertain about their futures, Fatima prays that she will be able to continue her education beyond primary school. This education project is supported by PWS&D.

MORE FROM – Popular Expressions: ALL TARRED WITH THE SAME BRUSH - Everyone in the group shares the same failings; they are all sheep of the same flock. This old saying alludes to the methods used by farmers to mark their sheep. A brush dipped in tar was applied to the wool as a form of branding. The phrase is now often used when people feel they have been lumped in with others and judged unfairly as a result.

AND - Annus Horribilis - A particularly bad or miserable year, the phrase being Latin for Horrible year. It owes its popularity to Queen Elizabeth 11 who used it in a speech at a banquet in the Guild Hall, London in 1992 – the year which saw the divorce of the Princess Royal, the separations of the Prince and Princess of Wales and of the Duke and Duchess of York, and the devastating fire at Windsor Castle. The next day, the punning headline writers had a field day with The Sun proclaiming on the front page – ‘One’s Bum Year’.

Annus Horribilis was a play on a phrase with the opposite meaning – annus mirabilis, which was first used as the title of a poem by John Dryden (1631-1700) to describe the year 1666 which he saw as an example of miraculous intervention by God. It has ever since been used to describe particular years full of wonders, or achievements; 1759 was one such for the British in which they achieved a string of military successes. (in British naval history, 1759 is also known as the Year of Victories).

MONDAY, MARCH 14th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30 in the prayer room.


I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

If you can’t think of a word just say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you are bilingual instead of an idiot.

It’s weird being the same age as old people!

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

Have a good week - MB

    March 1, 2022

TUESDAY, MARCH 1st, 2022 - “We trust Sir, that God is on our side. It is more important to know that we are on God’s side.” Abraham Lincoln

Wednesday, MARCH 2nd, 2022 - First Day of Lent – Ash Wednesday Service – 7:00 – in person or on Zoom.

MISSION CAPSULE: Binda Devi lives in Karbola, India, with her husband and four children. A year ago, the family was living a comfortable life, relying on the income from her husband’s job as a labourer in a cement factory. However, one day, there was an accident that left him unable to work. With no income, the family was very worried. PWS&D staff met with the family and, together, they came up with a plan for Binda to start a small cosmetics business. With support from the program she is now selling cosmetic items from village to village. The business is going well and Binda provides for her family. This livelihood initiative is supported by PWS&D.

MARCH BIRTHDAYS -- Maureen Monk, Michael Brett, Tineke Jorritsma, Tom Allen, Gary Lyon, Marlene Barnett, Robyn Allin

SUNDAY, MARCH 6th, 2022 - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – in person or on Zoom. Let’s gather and welcome each other back.
Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MONDAY, MARCH 7th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will gather at 7:00

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9th, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30.

DO YOU WANT TO FAST FOR LENT? In the words of Pope Francis

Fast from hurting words and say kind words.

Fast from sadness and be filled with gratitude.

Fast from anger and be filled with patience.

Fast from pessimism and be filled with hope.

Fast from worries and have trust in God.

Fast from complaints and contemplate simplicity.

Fast from pressures and be prayerful.

Fast from bitterness and fill your hearts with joy.

Fast from selfishness and be compassionate to others.

Fast from grudges and be reconciled.

Fast from words and be silent so you can listen.

Have a good week MB

    February 25, 2022

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25th, 2022 - “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.” George Bernard Shaw

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26th, 2022 - 4:30 - Jazz Vespers from Beach United Church – online concert with the Jason Logue Sextet.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27th, 2022 - Join us on zoom for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

Following worship there will be a brief break and then our Annual General Meeting.

MISSION CAPSULE: ARISE Ministry is a Toronto based ministry that offers outreach, case management and spiritual care to individuals involved in the sex trade. In response to the explosion of the online sex trade in recent years, the staff and volunteers at ARISE have expanded their outreach ministry online through an app called “Freedom Signal” which has allowed them to communicate and establish relationships with victims of online sex trafficking and exploitation. This type of virtual outreach has meant that staff and volunteers have been able to connect people to resources and support in a way that is not always possible in street-level outreach. ARISE ministry receives support from Presbyterians Sharing …

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2nd, 2022 - 7:30 - Ash Wednesday Service - in person and on Zoom

NOTE: We are reopening for in-person worship. Everyone must wear a mask or face covering at all times. All except those from the same household must maintain a physical distance of two meters from other individuals. Our capacity for in-person worship is limited to 45. Our Policy strongly recommends that all attending worship be fully vaccinated. We do not sing the hymns but all are invited to enjoy the recorded and live musical offerings.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28th, 2022 - Theology on Tap will not be meeting this week. Since it is Ash Wednesday and will be the first in-person service, it seemed only fair to take a break for this week. It also gives people an extra week to get their books since we are ready to start the next one. For the next while we will continue to meet via Zoom as we have people from out of town who join and it means that they can continue to participate.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2nd, 2022 - Beaches Prayer Group will gather at 9:30


You are riding a horse at full speed, there is a Giraffe next to you and a Lion chasing you. What do you do?

Get off the Carousel!!

Breaking News! Man gets hit by a rental car. Said it Hertz.

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll.

What do you call an Irishman bounding off the wall? Rick O’Shay!

Bread is like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist!

Have a good week - MB

    December 4, 2019

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 4th, 2019 - “Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Satchel Paige

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7TH, 2019 - Christmas in the Park Tree Lighting at Kew Gardens Bandshell. 5:30- 630 - Caroling, hot chocolate, entertainment

AND - Jazz & Reflection at Beach United Church. 4:30 – “A Charlie Brown Christmas” featuring Tom Reynolds Trio – Tom Reynolds, piano, George Koller on Bass and Lorne Nehring on drums

SATURDAY & SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7th & 8th, 2019 - Beach Guild of Fine Art Show & Sale at the Gardner’s Cottage, Kew Gardens. Saturday 10:00 – 8:00 and Sunday 10:00 – 5:00

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8th, 2019 - Deck the Trees with the Friends of the Glen Stewart Ravine. 10:30 – 11:30 – String the trees with our bird friendly decorations

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8th, 2019 - Second Sunday of Advent - Join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading. We will celebrate communion.

MISSION CAPSULE: For Ahmad and Sarah and their daughters Reem and Rana, each day brought distress thinking about what the future might hold. Their home in Al Raqqa, Syria had been bombed, and acts of brutal violence were taking place in their own neighbourhood. The family escaped to Kfarbo and forged a home in a cramped, unfurnished apartment. Navigating the streets of a brand-new city, in a country broken by over eight years of civil conflict, Ahmad and Sarah prayed each day for peace and relief from hunger. Their prayers were answered when the family received their first food and hygiene basket through a PWS&D supported project with Canadian Foodgrains Bank partners. “It came at the right moment,” says Ahmad.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8th, 2019 - Beaches Annual reading of Charles Dickens – A Christmas Carol - 3:30 – featuring CBC’s Tom Allen, Derek Boyes and Zenna Davis-Jones with Wes Allen bass, Don Anderson piano, Julia Aplin voice & dance, Aaron Comeau guitar & pump organ, Lori Gemmel harp, Patricia O’Callaghan voice AND The Fezziwig Singers.

NOTE: It’s that time again and Debbie Murray is looking for goodies to serve at intermission for A Christmas Carol. She is looking for cookies; cakes, scones; and squares. Please keep them small – easy to pick up – nothing mushy……..

MONDAY, DECEMBER 9th, 2019 - Theology on Tap continues to gather at the Beacher Café at 7:00

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10th, 2019 - Toronto Community Orchestra, present a seasonal concert at 7:30 at Eastminster United Church, Danforth Avenue, east of Broadview. Free admission, donations accepted.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 11th, 2019 - Celebrating Abundance by Walter Brueggeman is an Advent book Study – 1:00 in the Prayer Room.


The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. Albert Einstein

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle. Robert Anthony

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. H.G. Wells

Have a good week - MB